Broken Connection
by melodicviolet - inactive
Summary: After Roxas joins Organization XIII, Axel is reminded of a memory from his former life and seeks his former best friend for some answers.


**Author's Note: **Hm, this is my first time posting here. I hope this story isn't too bad. But this is all headcanon - In my mind, this is why Axel decided to become friends with Roxas. Sorry to any Axel/Roxas fans.

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><p><strong>Broken Connection<strong>

Axel drummed his fingers on his throne in the Round Room while trying to make eye contact with Saïx. But the second in command did not feel Axel's telepathic messages and focused his eyes on the Superior along with Number XIII. Axel sighed to himself and shifted his attention back to the middle of the Round Room.

Xemnas stood with a younger boy in a Black Coat that stared blankly at the ground. _The kid's a zombie. _According to Xemnas, Number XIII (Roxas) could wield the Keyblade. But at that moment, Axel cared nothing of that Kingdom Hearts crap. The only thing that startled him about this kid was his appearance. The blond hair, the striking blue eyes, the look of hopelessness - But Nobodies couldn't feel hopelessness. Then who was Number XIII to Axel? The name did not come to Axel, but the memory did.

"_You still play with toy swords? That's cute... What's your name? Okay, let's fight!"_

Axel closed his eyes a moment to let his - or rather Lea's - memory slip back into his mind. Since becoming a lonesome Nobody, Axel wanted nothing more than to forget about his former life and any hint to it was forced back into the hollow depths of his mind. But this one felt close. Axel could almost feel the summery breeze, hear the low continuous chirping of birds, and see the face of that boy, but not before another one appeared.

_"From where I stood, the only thing you drew was a big 'L' on your forehead for Loser, Lame, Laughable... Oh, you mean I was supposed to lie?"_

The face of young Isa appeared in Axel's mind, calculating but gentle green eyes, stoic but knowing and even caring expression... That laugh of Isa's, rare but charming, rang in Axel's ear. Now Axel held his head in despair from the vivid memory racing through his mind, taking over his entire being.

_"After all, we're friends now. Get it memorized... I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people's memories, I can live forever."_

_"I know I won't forget you. Believe me, I try all the time."_

And before leaving with Isa, Lea took one last look back at that newfound friend of his. The friend with an undeniable resemble to Number XIII, the friend of Lea's named... _Ventus_.

Axel's eyes opened and stopped for a moment to think about everything he'd just seen. This moment had replayed in his mind countless times, but this time again it felt as if it'd just happened. Axel swore he felt Lea's lingering emotions within him and his memory of a friendship as well... But it must have been an illusion, a fleeting moment of Axel's want for a heart fooling him. But just in case... Axel felt a need to see Saïx and to see him soon.

"Enter," Saïx's voice said after Axel's hesitant knocking. Without knowing what to say or what Saïx would remember, Axel opened the door to see Saïx scribbling on endless stacks of papers, piled in mountains around the otherwise empty room. "What is it, Axel."

Axel did not answer immediately, but examined the scraps around Saïx's room more clearly: Assignments, Reports... Nothing out of the ordinary from his behavior, but could Saïx not be thinking of him as well?

"Do you remember Ventus?" Axel broke the silence minutes later. Saïx's intensive scrawling on paper stopped as he held the pen his hand, dropped it, and turned to Axel.

"Why are you bringing this nonsense up, Axel? Rest for your mission in the morning and - "

"So you do," Axel concluded, not caring for a word Saïx said about missions. "I knew that kid looked familiar." Axel hesitated, not breaking contact with those gleaming golden eyes filled with mystery. "Tell me what's going on, Saïx. I can't get my - I mean Lea's - memory of Ventus out of my head since the arrival of Number XIII. I can't think about anything except for Lea's memory."

Saïx did not answer immediately, but let his eyes linger around the room before coming to the conclusion that this was not a subject Axel would be fine with dropping.

"Axel," Saïx said steadily. "You're not to worry about this. The only thing on your mind should be Kingdom Hearts, not how we achieve it."

"Ventus was a Keyblade wielder too... Wasn't he?" Axel said, still not letting his deep green eyes leave Saïx's empty golden ones. "Saïx, you can't do this anymore."

"What?" Saïx responded. "I can't want a heart? I can't wish to be whole again? Do you remember our pact when we joined the Organization? Believe it or not, I'm still looking out for you, Axel. I'm still watching out for that lame, laughable loser Lea."

"You can't keep using people," Axel insisted, not wanting to hear anything from Saïx. "This kid has a connection with Ventus, a person from our past. Doesn't he make you feel... - "

"Feel what?" Saïx snapped at Axel, staring deep into his eyes. Axel didn't need to explain because his answer was written on his face, but he did anyway.

"Like your former self, like you have a heart," Axel deadpanned, raising his hand to his chest where his heart should have been, but nothing beat blood through Axel's empty veins, nothing but emptiness lay inside him. "Maybe we should - "

"Enough of your illusions," Saïx declared, standing to move to the door, which Axel blocked immediately.

"Come on!" Axel urged. "This isn't something only I feel? That this Roxas is a maybe a sign from our past - "

"Axel," Saïx said in a deadly voice. "We can do nothing. We have no hearts. We cannot feel. The only way to accomplish this is to complete Kingdom Hearts, not linger on the memories or friendships that are dead now."

Axel bit down his lip, almost feeling... hurt? From what Saïx said. But Axel should have known that this friendship was over years and years ago. The only thing that linked these two empty Nobodwe're as a common goal, a pact from the past, a dead friendship.

"You can't pretend that there is something there," Saïx said calmly and this time Axel avoided his eyes. "It's just your mind playing games with you, making connections that don't exist. Your so-called feelings and memory of the past is a coincidence to appear the time of Number XIII's arrival. There are no connections, Axel. Stop trying to make it seem so."

Axel moved wordlessly from the doorway and allowed Saïx to pass through. The door shut and Axel felt emptier than ever. The memory of his best friend clearly meant nothing. Then what else could this feeling be? Axel felt a fire rise inside of him, wanting nothing more than his old life, his best friend back to him.

From the window, Axel saw the faint outline of heart-shaped moon, almost blind to all others, but clear to Axel. But now it meant nothing to Axel. What good would it be to have his heart back anyway? Nothing would change. _Nothing._ And if Axel couldn't have his best friend back, he would just have to settle for the next best thing.


End file.
